Right now you are scared and boy do I know that feeling. Your walking on eggshells. You are looking at everything YOU do, everything you say. You are trying so hard to save this M and for this I raise my hat off ot you. You may not be ready to hear this right now but I'm gonna say it anyway....
In order to save your M, you must let the old one DIE. You must let her go. It will be hardest thing that you will do BUT one that just may give you the best chance to save your M. Let her go Cub.
Let me ask you a few questions....
What type of man were you when you met your W?
What type of womena di did you want in your life when you were single?
Are you afraid that you cannot make it in the big city without W's income?
Did you date a lot before you met and married your W?
I guess my point in all of this is, who the hell is Cub outside of his M. Who is Cub when the rubber meets the road, when the chips are stacked against him?
Cub - you mentioned that you live in Manhattan (were I was born and raised). There are a lot of things to do in the city (both on the east and west sides), my advice it keep yourself really busy buddy and I mean really busy. You will want to think about your W all day, you will want to question everything you say or do. Stop it! Just be YOU. Be the person that you feel comfortable with. Be the man that you always aspired to be.
As for the conversation, I be very careful, it just may be one of these "I need time and space" discussions or a "when should consider separating". If it ends up being one of these - DO NOT PANIC. Keep your answers short and sweet and validate her as best you can. Then go for a walk, breath the fresh air, look up and thank God for what you do have. DO NOT BEG or PLEAD. NOPE. It ain't gonna work. Just feel the feeling that may come over your.
Your M does NOT define YOU.
I leave you with this....
You love her...this much I can see in your post.
You want her
You want this M
If you do, then let her go and really go find Cub.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
