You want to save her from inappropriate demeaning hookups.
She wants the whole shebang.. long term relationship, a committed partner and father to her son. Total acceptance to her son's presence whether you feel comfortable or not.
She talks about you adopting her son.
You speak then squeak about what's important to you. Or don't follow through.
Actions speak louder than words.
My sister-in-law dated a nice guy. He didn't meet her kids for quite while. They didn't have sex until they both tested negative for AIDS (she had been in engaged to a guy who impregnated a secret girlfriend) and were both negative six months later. He made it clear that he liked her kids but would not be a father figure. She was the parent. The kids call him by his first name. They've been married twenty years. And if there was something troubling she addressed it immediately even if it meant ending the relationship (even now).
To me, you both have boundary issues. I'd feel very uncomfortable having sex while someone's young child was in my house unless I felt part of the whole, that I wasn't going anywhere emotionally. It's just creepy.
You both have different perspectives. What's okay for her isn't okay for you but it's not necessarily a two way street. You both 'go along, get along'. You for what you want now. Her for what she wants now and in the future.
How different is this emotional relationship than your marriage.
Is it easier to say yes to her face than face what you feel?
Is it better to be truthful and risk losing a somewhat rewarding relationship or compromise for what you want.
