Well,I made a big oops! I took my D to see the theatre show my H was in last night, and I started to text my friend about frustrating it was and venting to her. Later after I got home I realized those texted went to H! He didn't respond or anything. I did send him a text and said I was sorry I sent those to the wrong person. The texts were not very nice and I really hoped he understood that I am on an emotional roller coaster these days. He never responded. Oh well! I feel like I just pushed him farther away.
It was bad, now he is here helping D16 with her computer and I notice he is NOT wearing his wedding ring, and he put separated in his facebook status! UGH!! I feel so hopeless! But, as he is here I am being pleasant and kind.
Oh, and he did respond to my apology by saying it was "not a big deal"!
Coach, I could really use your help with anything! Was an Affair involved with you? My problem is H says he loves OW, and it drives me crazy.
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
Be kind because it is WHO you are - not to get a response from him. DB101 - make changes FOR YOU.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
I am working on making changes for me. I am looking for a job and focusing on being a great mom to my daughter. I am still an emotional roller coaster and I am trying to get my head on straight. It is really hard to focus on one thing at a time. But, I need to find a job and get insurance for myself so that I can get into IC.
Eric, I love your quote! I may have to use it as a mantra!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
Today is 4 weeks since my husband moved out. I have cried alot this morning. My heart aches for him so much! I just want to get off this roller coaster! I am not looking forward to the holidays. I hate my life right now!! I am so mad at him and yet I love him so much. I just don't understand how he can just turn his feelings off for me and our D! How can he be so happy around us and not want to be with us?
I am praying fervently for him to find his love for me again!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
Last night H came over to take D16 driving and I fixed dinner for us. We had a good dinner and he stayed for about 30 mins after dinner. I still felt awkward with him after the whole texting incident. As he was leaving I walked out with him and stated I wanted us to be friends and stay in contact daily would that be okay with him. He asks. "So, it's okay if I text you?" I said yes, it would be great if he would initiate some of the conversations we have. I told him there is no reason he should not feel comfortable texting, calling or emailing me if he needs to communicate with me. I told him, I was not mad, angry or hostile and wanted to rebuild our friendship. He has not initiated any contact today. D and I are going to go run some errands after school today and I so badly want to invite him to meet us out for dinner. I just don't know if that would be pursuing or if he will just see it as dinner with us, which is really what it is, nothing else. UGH!! I have to remind myself baby steps!!!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
I did invite H to meet us for dinner and we had a really good time. I do believe H is doing this for D and not for me. I am acting "as if" the best that I can. Again tonight H will come and take D driving and I am fixing dinner for us.
A few questions: Am I pursuing or just trying to be a friend? I want to be his friend, because that is how we fell in-love when we first met. We became best friends. I haven't asked for anything for us, just as a family right now.
My other question, is should I as H to go to MC? I would love to start to see someone after the first of the year and maybe start off the year looking at what we could do differently or will this just push him farther away and closer to OW??
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
I don't think I'd ask H to go to MC yet. He will probably not agree. You have to decide where your mental health line is - can you continue to see H for dinners and conversation and not be too upset if this doesn't lead anywhere? If you can (be honest with yourself), then continue to invite him over. If you think this will set you up for more heartbreak, then gradually wean yourself off those interactions and let him miss you.
I appreciate the advice. I do have good mental health. Everyday is better than the last. I am not going to ask him about MC, I am just going to go to IC if I can get into see someone. With no job, it is kind of hard to pay for one.
H is coming over for dinner tonight and I am just going to be my happy self. There is nothing wrong with me. I am still attractive and know that I can take care of myself and my daughter. I know that I am still dealing with depression, but I just keep on moving and if it is meant for him to come back to me then he will. I am focusing on finding a new job and a new attitude!
Lorie W47 H48 D16 M20 H gone 11/9/10 lives w/OW
When you forgive,you heal. When you let go,you grow. When you cry to God, you surrender. When you love unconditionally, you show others Christ's love.
