Just talked with a mutual friend of mine and H's. He has known us during most of this residency and at times has given us both a kick in the butt as we have each complained to him about the other...
He is getting married next fall and has asked H to be his best man. He finds himself reconsidering this.
All along he has said this is strange, whatever is going on and now feels the same that obviously he is with someone. He no longer lives here and has been trying to communicate with H but almost never hears from him. He also said that last time he talked to him, he asked H about the soccer game and what he thought. H is from Brazil, friend is from Europe so they talked about soccer a lot in the past. He said H's response was what soccer game? Friend couldn't believe his response... said obviously he is incredibly preoccupied. We then talked about how crappy this is going to be for him as our profession is very small, it will follow him to any job he goes to.
I think the pressure is on the A at this point. Like I said before, H is a romantic and I am sure he is obsessed with her right now.
It would seem like I should be upset since hearing this sort of confirmation from another person used to upset me so much. Instead, I feel relief. Relief that I know this isn't about me. Sure I did some crappy stuff in the M, but nothing that gives one the excuse to do what he has done.
Going to continue NC. Do nothing to disturb La-la land... let the fantasy play out. I know my H, it is the only way for any sort of chance for him to see the light. He will be jarred back to reality soon enough. I have patience if nothing else... and I have my self-respect back. Even if H wanted to come back this minute, I know I would be genuine in saying, 'I would have to think about that'.
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
