If there's any guilt at all on H's part it would have to do with the Ds, especially the youngest. As far as H is concerned the rest of us, well he is teaching us a lesson. When he left he said that the two oldest boys needed to learn to stand on their own two feet. I'm here to say that the boys more than stood on there own and pulled their weight. H didn't lift a finger around here unless he wanted to. The boys used their own money to fix and or improve things. As H didn't see the money in his hand he used it to justify saying that he was paying for everything. Not true as I paid my part of the mortgage and bills.
When H left he told the S26 he'd sign his half of the property over to him. S26 took over the payment and H never did make a move to legally sign it over to S. As time went on I took over paying for everything except that half of the mortgage S was paying. Both Ss and DIL continued to pay for improvements and fixings. After a while DIL saw the savings that she and S had to build a house on the property slip away. Naturally she became resentful of this. Whenever money would come out of their pocket to fix or upgrade things, she would curse about H and what he'd done because she would have had a brand new house by now if he hadn't left. I didn't blame her as she saw no progress in H signing his half over. It would upset my youngest to hear DIL spout off about her Daddy. I told DIL I knew how she felt but could she not say anything in front of D12. That worked until the next time something would cost them money.
Anyway, I had heard of the house up the road going back on the market because the previous deal fell through and it was obviously meant to be that S and DIL were able to buy it as H wasn't doing anything about switching the property over. I am very happy for them.
I am lucky in that H pays the max for child support even though there is nothing legally in writing for it. I'm making ends meet, but there is not a whole lot left over. I guess my question about the 'loan' had more to do with if I should let H know that I'm struggling at Christmas. As we're this far into the sitch it really probably doesn't matter.
The strange part of it all is that when S told H he was dropping the paperwork off to me about the mortgage there was absolutely no reaction from H whatsoever. Not even a facial twitch. My S was shocked, he thought his Dad would at least ask him some questions. As far as I'm concerned I do not believe my H has once ounce of guilt about what he's done. After all, as he said, he deserves some happiness before he dies...
