WAW.. wow #2

[Pensacolabroken]

New update:

We had slowly been spinning in gear. Wife has been more affectionate, discussing the future etc.. I was discussing with her my need for more affection and her initiating the touching and the romantic conversation etc.. she said she is trying but I am not seeing it and am making her feel like the things she does is not good enough. I asked her if she had any passion for me, she said sometimes. She said she is trying to relight it.

That was last Saturday. I had to go to my Job in the other state and I was very upset with the way we left things with her and my perceptions that were differing on the amount of committment etc to the relationship. I became pretty anxious.

I drunk dialed her Monday evening and it of course led to a major argument and an me telling her "fine draw up the divorce papers" of course I didnt mean it but I was reacting out of a place of fear, and anxiety. I didnt want and dont want a repeat of last Summer when I was gone. Maybe most of this is in my head.

well I got back, Tuesday night ( I am working only a few days that last week) and apologized and we talked. She has retreated into her castle and is cold as can be. I accepted my responsibility for my bad behavior and asked her to forgive me. She said she is still here, still wearing her rings and is still trying. So since last Monday it has been very cold. We are sleeping in the same bed. No warmth and inimitate talk. I even got the "I need my space" again from her which i gave her. But I feel like this is a two way street and perhaps she is giving me all she is capable of?

We had Marriage Counseling on Friday and Wife said she is not sure she can "keep doing this" and "Doesnt think it is going to work out" yet she is still in the game. The take away from the MC was I was to stop expecting contact, physical and Email and txt and that way I wont be inclined to demand it or be rejected when she doesnt give it. I was also asked to give her the space and let her come to me willingly. I can see those points.

I emphasized that it is important to me that I know where my wife stands in the relationship and can demonstrate her comittment to me also.

We had a good weekend and very little heavy talk. She has again mentioned things about the future, but she is withholding physical initiation of touch and kiss etc. Wont say I love you first but will reply she loves me too..

It feels like a set back but not a surrender.

I dont know if this is common or not.

one other point, I gave her my FB and email passwords.. I asked for hers... she gave them to me but mentioned in counseling that I "demanded" them... I called her on that and said no I didnt I asked for them and that it demonstrated trust on both parties by having nothing to hide. She is pretty demanding of me that I trust her and has mentioned she cant be in a realtionship without trust. I told her I want to trust her, but I cant with out demonstration of commiiment and her trusting me as well.

Still together! Man this is hard. This monring for the first time she opened up more with the hugs and the hand holding. Hopefully I am cracking the castle wall....