Confused

[rangerphan]

MrBond,
Thanks for the link. Even though I haven't got through all of it yet from what I have read I've learned alot.

Well the W and I had her first MC session on Friday and it went well. The therapist I have been seeing happens to be my W sister's MIL so has known her for over 15 years and she is definitely pro marriage. Since I have been seeing her and knows most of my side of the story I let my W do most of the talking. She has been telling my W that she should have come to talk to her years ago to get past her problems she has had growing up. My W father never was around growing up and her mother was an alcoholic so she was pretty much on her own from day 1. She thought then when we M I would fill that void for but I didn't. It was actually my mother who was there all the time and when she died she saw that as an end of our R as well.

She did set her straight on a few things she has been resenting me for and opened her eyes to the things that I have been going through. Although she didn't commit to trying to work on things right there she did agree to keep seeing her. The rest of the night went well and we laid in bed talking for hours.

On Saturday we both brought our S to karate class and then took both kids to get hair cuts. After hair cuts we took our D to karate and she said to me that if she does committ everything will become transparent and no more hiding. So I believe contact with OM has stopped. While we were in class she looked at me and said she was excited about the future. I asked if it was our future and she looked at me smiled and said maybe which I knew meant our future. The rest of the day went great and as she was leaving to go to a birthday party with my D last night she said to me and my S that she loved us which I personally haven't heard in months. In the past she would say that to my S only so I'll take that as a good sign.

She already had plans with her sister next weekend so we will do separate sessions then but after that we will go on a regular basis every Friday. She was also asked to step up for her niecie's confirmation in May and being that my W never made communion or confirmation the priest said that she would have to go to confession and attend church every weekend before he would give his consent. So as a family we will start going which I believe can only help our situation.

She has been talking with me but more importantly I have been listening to her. I never bring up the R but will talk to her about it if she brings it up to me. We both realize that we are at ground zero and we will both have to commit 100% to making it work.

I'm still GAL and keeping up with the 180's I have been doing. I look in the mirror at myself and love the person I am turning into. I will still take it one day at a time. Thank you all for your help and advice. It is greatly appreciated.