Thanks for the advice NM! I haven't decided whether or not I will talk about the affair or not. I have 3 teacher friends who know, but have never said anything. My h is also a teacher and I feel a need to keep quiet for the sake of his job, but ow teaches at his school so this is very hard for me. It just seems so unfair that they continue to teach together when they have this hidden relationship going on. I think I am the opposite of you, I am more embarrassed about getting a divorce than that he had an affair. I think that if people knew about the affair they would be less judgemental of the divorce. On the otherhand I know how the reputation of an affair can stick around in a school corporation. There are a couple of teachers/administrators in our school corp that have had affairs 10-15 years ago and people still point the fact out. I think about my son and the fact that this is his father, and I don't know if I want him to have to deal with that. My thread is - "It ain't over til it's over, right?". I have read a lot of your thread b/c I saw a lot of similarities between my h and yours in the sense that like your exh, my husband would still do anything for me, and seems to want to be "friends". He just doesn't want to stop being with the ow. It is really hard to understand the fact that they seem to want to talk to you, hang out with you, and tell you that they care about you, but don't want to be married to you.
