It'a All About Me

[Sanderika]

Hi Cas,

I've been thinking about you a lot this is something to think about....

I just read back in your thread a ways, it seems to me that your H changed somewhere between the 13th of November and the 26th.

Significant things that happened in your world were:

You changed jobs.

You had surgery.

Please correct me if I am wrong, your H (at first) didn't seem supportive of your thoughts to change jobs. after you took the job, H conceded that it seemed a good idea. My thoughts are that H was sharing his opinion with you and you didn't take his advice, IMO YOU DID NOT HAVE TO, but is it possible that H feels jilted by you right now?

You had surgery and he sent you well wishes before hand but failed to make contact with you afterwords instead choosing to seek out your condition and status through daughter. In conversation post-surgery, H stated many times...that you didn't volunteer your condition and prognosis to him thus he felt you did not want him to know....once again H is feeling jilted by you. I FELT, LIKE YOU, THAT YOUR H NEEDED TO SEEK AFTER YOU, THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN.

My thoughts have run this way based on his level of contact and avoidance of you. It is possible that he simply feels like he has nothing to offer you. Is it possible that he does feel jilted? If that is true, it makes sense that he is tip-toeing around. I would not call him cold and selfish, I would call him hurt and insecure.

He is having a hard time finding work and the need to move would not be by choice, rather by necessity. This alone would make him feel inadequate beside you. You are currently very successful. This should not be your worry, however he is probably feeling this way.

MLC men thrive on being needed, loved and validated. They are logical thinkers and problem solvers. Your H is incapable of problem solving right now. You on the other hand have it all going on and, IMO, H is feeling sorry for himself and a failure.

I'm wondering if this is what is happening inside your H right now....If it is, you know what to do to turn it around, after all you have been able to do it before, if you still want to DB that is.....

I support the decisions you make....I know how it feels to be you,

(((Hugs)))

Sanderika