Hit by truck 2 months ago

[habitacker]

I got out of the house tonight. At the last minute I got on a volleyball league. It was fun but it is with my friends and their wives. So you know how I felt.
It is really a bummer how I stated above how things seemed better, but tonight when I got home from volleyball she did ask how it was, but then just went to the bedroom and watched t.v. and didn't even say goodnight.
It seems like she is actually in a better mood and more interactive with me on the weekends when we are together more. This just doesn't make sense if she neeeds space. The only thing is that on the weekends she can see how the kids and I are getting along so good. Or maybe after work when we first see eachother each day maybe she is nervous. Like she is expecting the old me. She is this way in the mornings also. It is almost like the more time we are around eachother the more comfortable she gets. All this might not be true but it is what my senses are telling me.
sandi2, I also wanted to say thank you for asking about my weekend. It is nice to know someone out there cares.

[habitacker]

All my sorry's came right away when the bomb hit. They were all said at the same time the begging and pleading was going on. You know, everything that she would expect to happen.
Now that time has gone by and I have time to reflect on things, I really want to appologize for everything with a more calm thought out approach.
Can I say I am sorry about things, or am I better off just staying quiet? I have never really said I am sorry other than the first days, and I am sure you all know what that was like. I was saying sorry, but I am sure it sounded like begging and pleading.
I want her to know that I understand what I have done and that I am sorry.
I am struggling hard everday not to try to talk about R. I have seen some other posts that the W really liked the appologies though.
Well, that's my question. Have at it. I am sure it won't be my last. Thanks.

[angel61]

Habitacker,
I had the same dilemma with religion and doing the right thing - i even went to a IC with Christian background. She said: you have to do what will NOT push your H into doing more wrong. If it means being patient, giving space, giving time, then do so. Ultimately, you both will reap the rewards.

[habitacker]

I have noticed my wife has had a lot of doctor appointments lately. Everytime she has one I always ask how her day was and ask about doctor visit. She has always replied it was just a check up. The last appointment,a few days ago, was at a diabetes clinic of some sort. Now I see info on the computer about recipes on sites about diabetes. Should I say or ask anything, or just let it be?
I make dinner a couple times a week, which I never did before. She always seems uncomfortable when I do stuff like this. Laundry,clean,cook. I just figured she new I was doing it because of what is happening, but over time she would realize it isn't going to stop and I want to help. My point is that maybe her being uncomfortable when I cook might have something to do with diabetes. Maybe she is watching her diet and I am messing it up.

[habitacker]

I have noticed my wife has had a lot of doctor appointments lately. Everytime she has one I always ask how her day was and ask about doctor visit. She has always replied it was just a check up. The last appointment,a few days ago, was at a diabetes clinic of some sort. Now I see info on the computer about recipes on sites about diabetes. Should I say or ask anything, or just let it be?
I make dinner a couple times a week, which I never did before. She always seems uncomfortable when I do stuff like this. Laundry,clean,cook. I just figured she new I was doing it because of what is happening, but over time she would realize it isn't going to stop and I want to help. My point is that maybe her being uncomfortable when I cook might have something to do with diabetes. Maybe she is watching her diet and I am messing it up.

[habitacker]

It is amazing to me how my waw can go day after day like nothing is wrong. If I don't bring anything up about the R, it will not be mentioned at all. Which I have not for about a month now. It is just weird that such an important thing is happening in our lives and it is like she is just ignoring it. Or doesn't want to deal with it.
Our daily life is just like it used to be. The only thing different is "no sex". That is really the only thing that is different, other than my attitude. Which is 99% of my 180.
I want to think that this normal daily life is a good sign,but I have the feeling like she is DONE. This friendly normal life attitude is just a way to pass the time because she feels she needs to give me time to get established before I am out. If she is done like she says, is this the way you would think she would act? Like nothing is wrong? Wouldn't it be easier to turn on me? Treat me bad or something? She has never treated anyone bad in her life. This is what scares me because I don't know how to read her.
Is she done with me and just being nice because that is the way she is? or, are things getting better and she is opening up to me more? Frustrating!
Another thing is sex. Yea, I know, I am a guy so I have to bring this up. Why does it seem women can do without so easily? I don't know what to think. She has never been the initiating type. How do I know that she doesn't want me to try something? I will never do this because I do not want to backslide. But, how do I know?
One of the things that made me question sex, is that we have had nothing physical for more than 3 months, but she has never got off the pill. About a month ago I asked why, and she said she never thought about it, and it is just habit and it helps with womens things(cramps,etc.). Any women out there that can justify this let me know because I don't know much about that. I am 99.9% sure there is no affair. If she isn't at work she is home, and on her time off she usually has the kids, and if she goes shopping or something, she always comes back with what she went after in a reasonable amount of time. Plus, it is just not something she would do. I am a very lucky man who took advantage of a beautiful human being. I forgot what I had. I will never let that happen again.