I think there's a subtle difference that is the key to all of DB.
If we change to get a response from our spouse, subconsciously it comes off as insincere and the WAS can smell it a mile away. Also, if it does get a positive response the LBS is more likely to go back to old bad habits. It becomes a tactic, not a true change.
Only when we truly look inside ourselves, wrestle our demons to the ground, and change FOR US, does any of this have a chance of working, and working long term.
Just my opinion.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
