Still Moving Forward

[BeingMe]

His interests are all work related. He doesn't even take his motorbike out ... hasn't the whole year, spring or summer. He loves his grandkids, but doesn't really make the effort to get there to see them ... a little, but only when he is in that city for a project.

Maybe the best you can do is keep taking care of you, protect yourself financially and emotionally, and live happy.

That is my intent now. I have told him that the ball is in his court. I wrote this email (below) to him last week, after we M twice in the previous week after almost 2 years of nothing, except robotic pecks on the cheek hullo or goodbye, and a quick "love you" on the phone --- I stopped all of that. I want it to be real or nothing.

I just want to make it clear about how I feel: I miss you, I love you. But I don't know if that's enough anymore. I am confused about what you want, what your feelings are, where we are going. I do know that you are not willing to fight for me, for us. I know you're tired, which is why I proposed the separation. I don't want to be the source of your stress and
tiredness. I want to be the place you can rest, and have a sympathetic heart, and I hoped I could find that with you too.

I do wish we could fix this marriage. But, I think you want to move on. You haven't given me any reason to think otherwise. So, I won't fight for us anymore. Just really confused.

The proverbial ball is in your court.