We went out shopping as the excuse for her to "talk". Turns out she really wants to visit OM the weekend of 12/18. Wants assurances that I wont throw her stuff in the driveway; wont expose her to kids, friends, family etc. I just STFU mostly.
"Wife, I will not be in an open marriage. I can't stop you from going to see him, I will not throw your stuff out or expose to the kids, but when you come home I will have boxes waiting for you and I will help pack up your stuff while you figure out where you are going to go stay. I will not be in your life, if he is."
IAP, that is a personal boundary. Clear and simple. You just can't be ANGRY when you do this. That is a test to see if you will stand up for yourself and the marriage. If you accept her going to see the OM then she will NOT respect you. Be firm, but kind.
