Just to be the devil's advocate, could he have not noticed your IM? And I wouldn't recommend contacting someone when you know they are working. Yes, they might be taking breaks at various times to do whatever (!) but it's not the most receptive time for a man. That's one argument for women letting men contact -- when a man contacts a woman it's easier for her to switch gears and be in communication mode than vice versa. I've definitely observed this with men IRL and I never called my H at work just to say hi.
So true that not being too accessible makes one more desirable. I think it has a lot to do with what robx writes about -- we communicate our value in how we behave. It's not just perverse wanting what we can't have IMO. Kml, you communicated your value by putting your needs first (needing to go to bed) and not letting him derail that. Men often believe it when we communicate our value -- and they value us too. When we are ready to respond to their whims, we communicate low value, and they believe that too.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
