GW, time to lead. Make decisions and follow through on them, with or without your W. She is a basket case so tell her that you are going to make plans and she needs to let you know now if there's anything that should be considered as you make those plans. Refuse to live in limbo. Your W has put herself in that he!!, but you don't have to join her there. You have a life and your children have a life. Put stuff on the calendar and get on with it. Show your leadership and direction to yourself, your children, and your W. Christmas is a triggering time for many of us.
My advice is to seriously skip anything that smacks of duty and "should" this year and concentrate on old and new traditions that nourish you and your children. I started doing that a few years ago and it has transformed the xmas experience for me for the better. It still involves a lot of work, but it's not shopping, and card-sending work, or duty visits. It's creating memories that we will all cherish for the rest of our lives.
Good for you for detaching from her moods. It's actually more stressful for her when her being down triggers the same in you. Go for a run, have a beer with friends, soak in a hot tub. Do something that helps you feel good every day if you can. It might feel self-indulgent but sometimes stuff like that is emergency first aid.
(((hugs)))
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
