This will be the first night that H and I spend together (since he left). We've made attempts at it before, but this time, there's no way out! We will be seeing a concert tonight (a surprise present of mine to him) in a nearby town. I've got D spending the night at a friends house. I gave H the option of driving back late tonight or just spending the night (together) a few hours away. He opted for staying a few hours away.
He has been plagued with sleep issues and anxiety attacks this week and has not made another attempt at staying the night at the house. Yesterday, in fact, he asked me out to lunch and told me we'd go at 1. His lack of communication leading up to one o'clock had me thinking he'd probably fallen asleep. At 1:15, I just went ahead and ate. He texted me at 1:30 and was apologetic and said he HAD fallen asleep. He was sad to hear I had already eaten. Strangely, I was not really upset by the whole thing. I was disappointed, yes. But it wasn't surprising and getting mad at him or at the situation wouldn't have helped. I could tell he felt very very bad about missing our lunch.
My main concern for this evening is that he may have a serious panic attack. I hope he brings all his meds! I'm looking forward to a fun evening and sincerely hope things go well. H continues to be making genuine attempts to improve and I think his willingness to force an overnight upon himself is yet another step.
"Love me when I least deserve it, for that is when I need it the most"
M18 Me39,H42 D16 Bomb 1/10 Moved out 3/10 OW 6/10 H wants to R,OW gone 11/10 H moves back 5/11 H wants to wear rings again 9/11
