Well, we could not wait until MC session on Monday and had at it last night until 2am and this morning from 7 to 8:30. For the first time I ended the R conversation. Tonight its supposed to continue, I am supposed to confirm that the EA turned into a PA on Labor Day Weekend. She is telling me now that she is on the fence about me and OM and I said that I was not going to pressure her into making a decision now but whatever that decision turns out to be, It can not include me and OM both in her life. I also said that until that happens I can not be emotionally available to her. She proceeded to tell me how miserable all those years were to her and how much I hurt her and that what I was asking for was not fair to her because OM gave her emotional support when she could not get it from me. She said I had been cruel and treated her like garbage, like she did not matter in my life. I responded that if she still thought all that, then her choice should be very clear to her and to me. I said I could not change the past and that the way I remember events in our marriage was very different from what I was hearing from her now and that it was very painful to hear. I said that every day that she kept any contact with OM was insulting and disrespectful to me and actions is the only way I would know that she was really sorry for what she did; not words. Who knows how this will end but I think this will be painful to me until the day I die. I said I was sorry for the way I had been in our marriage and that actions would show that, not words.
Me 39 W 37 S 5 D 2.75 Married 12 years Together 14 years Bomb Dropped 08/16/10
