And just because I wasn't UPSET by it, I was justifying that it was all ok. Well, no, it's not ok. I don't need him anymore--so I shouldn't be spending that much time thinking about him. I don't think about anyone else in my life that obsessively. So his contact triggered me personally being wrapped up in thoughts of him again, and that's not good for me.
This is part of the process Antonia. Another level of detachment. If you care to read my threads you will see I went through that too. Everyone does.
It is ok and healthy IMO. You start to really look at your spouse with clear eyes and ask "WTF am I doing?"
Know this. It is STILL a reaction. You are now not focused on them coming back at any cost. You are asking healthy questions about what YOU want in a relationship.
There is a little frustration a little anger.
The journey is not over yet for you I might suggest. Can you do this without regret?
Without it being a reaction to what H did or did not do?
When it is for YOU, you are free from that emotion.
You are moving through this. Trust yourself. Trust this process.
My goal is to some day be the person my dog thinks I am
