Instead of questioning if you should or should not have had the conversion with your H about the boundaries with your S, maybe you should accept that it is PERFECTLY HEALTHY to stand up for what you believe in. Stop questioning yourself or your choices. Do not be afraid to be the strong women that many of us can see in YOU.
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I am still wearing my wedding band when he is taking his new love to family events.
It’s funny, you believe you used to have a better handle on YOUR morals – YET you are still wearing your weeding band. Have you consider that you are wearing it because YOU are LIVING YOUR MORALS. Stop questioning yourself. Believe Irish – Believe in YOU.
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I have a serious problem with him exposing the kids to his new love life when we are still legally married.
To me, this ^^^^ is another example of YOU living BY YOUR Morals.
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I don't think I have a good sense of reality any longer. Guide me friends towards real world normalcy!
MY perception = my reality.
My reality is what I perceive.
Right?
Wrong?
Depends on which way you look at is – does it not?
Maybe a better way to look at it is…
What reality does Irish want to perceive? Can she accept that which she cannot control? Can you detach and accept that she is the only person responsible for her ACTIONS and LIFE.
Hmmmm….
OR is HIS realty peppered by the old saying that MLC = confusion.
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I'm not sure I understand the relationship I should be having with him.
Irish, think about this for a second…..
What R should you be having with him….hmmm…
What R do YOU want with him RIGHT NOW? (outside of course of a reconciliation) Think of the R you want as the person that you are becoming but afraid to fully embrace. Would you want to be friends with him with him toting around OW? Would you want to be his pal with the spew that he is tossed your way? Would you want to be compassionate and loving even IF he does not reciprocate? Thing for a second…..WHAT DO YOU WANT? It is not what I or anyone else on the boards can tell you. The R you have with him should be the R that YOU feel comfortable with at the time and should be consistent with who IRISH is. I know what the type of R I would have but that’s me. Who is IRISH. What I see is you fighting yourself a bit here. Fighting because you are changing and the changes feel funny. They are not the old Irish. Embrace them GIRL! Try on the new Irish. The strong, morally sound, committed, loving, compassionate, kick butt mom Irish person. This Irish should define the R that you want with your H…..
IF
YOU TRUST YOURSELF.
God Bless, Eric
"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter". "Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!" "Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
