Sue: Just found your thread and detaching with love is what I need to do. I am a classic co-dependent. No drugs or alcohol..simply dependent on H. My thread is newcomers Life is a Mess. H wants out. He loves me, cares about me but has been thinking about ending this for a while. Left after last child went to college. He told counselor (we went once...I go) he is at zero about being in this marriage. I don't want to give up. We were separated five years ago and he came home...but he seems more adamant this time. I feel like I am dying of a broken heart. He says he will do nothing legal if I am so unstable...so why get better. I even went to a co-dependency clinic (Caron Foundation) for a week....helped me but he is not closer to wanting to work on this. I beg him, plead etc. All the DB's no-nos. I am afraid of growing old without him....I feel lost and scared and unsafe without him not to mention the loneliness and emptiness. I keep wondering if I could detach if that would bring him back. He simply wants to move on in his life....can't give real reasons. He has been unfaithful before...I am just like you describe a codependent: wanting things the way I want them, control,...but no in a vicious or mean way. i simply want to make his life easier. Got any more helpful hints. I feel like I have lost the will for anything.
