I can do this...

[punkin]

Irish,

Of course you've heard the term, this is going to hurt worse before it gets better? I feel like that is what I just went through. For the better part of 10 days, I hurt as badly as I did when this first all happened. Like all the progress I had made just disappeared.

And then, suddenly, as if someone had turned off a switch, the pain was gone. I didn't care what he was doing or with who. Suddenly, all the mini detachements melded together into One BIG BREAK.

Irish, you've had a rough couple of weeks. You have said you've felt as if you have backslid. I don't think so, or at least I hope not. I hope you are at that same point I reached; when the bubble popped and suddenly what was in the past belonged in the past; I had a future to look forward to. With or without him.

This is how it was for me. I thought I had lost all the ground I had gained, and then suddenly, it was so clear. This is my life, my decisions, my game plan. I can't make his, he can't make mine.

What I said was hope that this painful voyage is about to culminate into something far more peaceful that you have had in a very long time. The detachment I feel at this point from my H makes all the others feel miniscule in comparison.

You and I have made this journey pretty much side by side. The peace I have found the past week, I pray you find too. I hope that is what is going on with you now.