She hasn't left. So she doesn't know if she's done yet, or she's still in the planning stages.
I think I might put my educational plans on hold, maybe seek out gainful employment again regardless, given the current environment.
As long as she's there, why don't you treat her like the woman you love? At Christmas, you decorate, so decorate.
If you come to know that she has entered into another affair, I would probably take another tack, but word from a confidant is not enough in my opinion.
Try to soak up the ideas in the book. Make your 180's honest ones - that is, changes that you honestly recognize you need to make to be a better you. Don't start new habits or behaviors just because you think they will endear you to her - just doesn't seem to work in my experience. You're actually likely to get more backlash than compliments.
I still beleive marriages can and should be saved. You will find that it can be painful, and that you will need to do things that sometimes seem opposite of what your gut tells you to do. But it can be done.
You sound calm, try to keep calm. For me at least, the only thing that significantly changes the dynamics and how I would respond to her is knowledge that she is openly involved with another while still living with you. That takes a more serious sequence of steps.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
