I'm going to respond to you here because I see this as your 'main'thread, and it's easier for folks to follow you if you stick to one thread.
Of course your husband would communicate this same message/feelings that he's giving to you to your BIL.
"My brother-in-law called me to tell me he finally spoke to my H and my H said he is done."
It's just more of the same communication of the way he feels in this moment.
This is not the end of the game. It's just the first 'first' touchdown', and you are not playing well. That's ok, change your game.
Your coach is right, you are in the LRT, which is a version of the 180. You communicate business-like and you have to act more non-chalant about your relationship.
What is different about you now from when you first fell in love? You mentioned your husband has talked about your weight. You probably need to address that to attract him back.
Did your coach recommend other changes?
Even with his words, there still is hope. Pay more attention to his actions than his words, but really listen when he talks about things he was unhappy with and things he is happy with in his life currently. These things will give you clues as to what you can do.
