- At the time of our separation, my wife promised no-contact with OM.
- I found out a few weeks later that she was still contacting him.
- She again promised no-contact with OM.
- About a month later, I discovered that she had flown out to spend two weekends with him in the month of June.
- I exposed to her family and since then, they have laid the pressure on that her relationship with OM is not going to be accepted.
- Again she said no more contact with OM. They broke it off, he won't contact her, and she won't contact him.
- Three weeks ago, I found out that she had taken another trip and was spending the weekend with him. I busted her, and she admitted that she had resumed contact with him for around a month prior to this trip.
- I had a long conversation with her Monday when she got home from here "Love Trip" and said I was done with these games. I told her that she needed to recommit to our marriage or she could forget about talking to, or seeing me ever again. She said she needed time to think, that she didn't know what to do.
- She was a mess all that week. She talked to her folks, and they asked her if she could see a future with me as her husband. She said she didn't know. Throughout our entire situation the answer to that question was always a definitive "NO."...but whatever...I don't put much stock in it.
- In the two weeks since this, I've backed off any further relationship talk...and have not pressured her anymore for a decision. Also, I've only seen her once and talked to her maybe three times.
BUT NOW WHAT? I know that for my own well-being, I cannot continue on this path of being repeatedly lied to, betrayed, and cheated on.
My plan as of now is to write her a no-contact letter. It will state that if she won't commit to cease any and all contact with OM, and agree to full-transparency with ALL of her financial/communication accounts, then to please not contact me for any reason. This treatment is too painful, and cannot be tolerated anymore for my own well being...and that if she needs to relate any information to me, it can be done through a third party. I'm still debating whether or not I should ask for her to resume her sessions with our counselor as well.
I just cannot continue any type of relationship with her if she's going to keep seeing the OM...but I'm just not exactly sure how to proceed. Any more of these little discoveries of betrayal and I'm not going to have any feelings left to salvage.
M: 29, W: 28 Together 8 years, Married 1 (5/16/09) Bomb (LYBNILWY)4/22/10 Affair discovered 5/3/10, began Jan/Feb 2010 Separated 5/22/10 - Present Affair exposed 7/7/10 No children
