And let's be clear, so that you KNOW what changes to keep going.
1)She was cheating, and did lie. 2)And then you made changes that attracted her back. 3) And she ended things with the other man. 4) Said she wanted to date you again. 5) You and others became suspicious, and your fears were unconfirmed. Things between her and the OM were still disolved, although there may have been some drama. 6) You talked about boundaries (which is great, because you are going slow, per DR), you listen to her while she is venting (you haven't said how you responded, but it must have been favorable) and she is willing to go with them. 7) She takes time to think about it (time out--again, going slow which is good). 8) She asks to come back. And you want to agree to go slow.
Simply setting boundaries did not bring your wife back. Look at step two, and expound on what you did here. THAT'S what brought your wife back. She was coming back long before the boundary.
