Yeah, I made the mistake of opening up to her mom last night and she said “I'm a realist and don't want you to lose sight of that" and also asked if I thought about that divorce might be the only answer. She listened for the most part without being judgmental on face or giving too many suggestions. I asked her to just keep it between us and she said she would. She said that my W doesn’t speak to her or her dad about any of this. I decided in bed though that I will not talk to my in-laws about the relationship because it isn't helping. I will keep in contact and just portray that I am doing better.
I was going to stay out working through Christmas like I did for Thanksgiving. Holidays are tough with this and with truck driving it is an easy excuse to not be around without hurting people’s feelings. I might see about getting back into town for Christmas and see if I can visit with my in-laws and just be upbeat about stuff. That’s the only time I can think of that I might get a chance to bump into my W. I realized that me pushing to stay in the house with or without her probably is pursuing because I secretly hope that she will agree to stay with me and I bet I telegraph that without realizing it.
When I do have contact with my W I am making sure I thank her constantly for anything she does that is in my favor. I do it by just saying “thank-you”, “thank-you very much”, or “I really appreciate it”. I do not say “I love you” or get mushy, I just really try to show my gratitude as you would if a friend or stranger were doing something nice for you. With that said, can I ever slip in compliments about her? Or would telling her she is nice, kind, wonderful, “the best” just come off as pursuing?
