Positively moving forward

[awest1217]

I really feel like I am in a crisis of faith. I am very religious and completely believe in God. My problem is that I have gone through so much in my life; my dad dying, watching my mom be abused by my dad and then my step-dad, my grandpa committing suicide, then this. I just think what have I done wrong to make my life so bad. What am I not doing right to make me continually go through these trials? When H first left, I was at church almost everyday praying and asking what to do. I listened to what I feel was God's will, but now I am the one who is getting the raw end of everything again. I just don't get why? Why can't I just have a good going life for a while? I mean I have the D. I am not getting any money, which I will admit I wanted because it was the only way I saw H as being punished for cheating on me. My car is well... I just feel at ends with everything.

I don't know if it is because of the time of year and the dooming anniversary, or because I am overwhelmed, or what, but I just am not happy.