I feel like you and I are in similar places. Not exact, but close.
You are setting good boundries. They aren't a strategy, or out of anger. Keep pulling back till you start to feel more grounded.
Your H, like mine is 'in love' and won't be reachable untill the A dies. Not really much you can do to help that, just protect yourself and live your life.
I would post more, but I'm falling asleep while typing. I'll try to keep up with you.
