Hope it's not too late

[what next?]

Well today is "pay it forward" day so thanks in advance

My wife is putting a ton of effort right now into working on "recovery" which scares me but today when I was setting up the Christmas tree she had some stuff out on the dining table that was open to a page talking about the way she has put up walls and how destructive that is. It was talking specifically about how she would not be able to see the good that I was trying to do because her defenses would recycle that message into something negative. It also talked about the need for her to take responsibility for her decisions and where she is and that she can't blame all of the problems on me. That was the only page that I read because I really didn't want to snoop but I hope that she can read that and start to see what has happened to us in a different light. The important thing is that she is at least trying to understand what has happened and maybe that will eventually lead us to the same place. I realize how much I have grown through this process and it really makes me feel guilty to think that she might be doomed to a similar outcome in her next relationship if she doesn't take to heart what she is learning.

She is still wearing her wedding ring though. I looked on her ring holder and it was gone. I don't know that I can read *too* much into that but it is something I can be happy about for tonight