She says she wants me to be happy and that she worries about what I might do if she leaves but insist that my happiness can not be tied to her staying in a relationship that no longer works for her.
She's absolutely right about the part in bold underline.
You cannot tie your ability to be happy to her. She may bring joy to your life. She may mean a tremendous amount to you. But YOU are the only one who can determine your happiness.
Trust me that the rest of what she has said is ever so typical of a spouse who has mentally checked out of the relationship and is simply biding their time.
You can't respond to that stuff. If she expresses things about you that she thought were flaws, you owe it to yourself to look within and determine whether or not her comment has merit.
But leave all the rationalization talk alone and strike it from your mind.
Serial killers rationalize why they do what they do. Tyrannical despots rationalize why they do what they do. Politicians rationalize why they do what they do.
Your wife is no different in this respect - she has chosen a course of action that you and many others consider wrong, and so she must rationalize it. To try to argue the merits of her thoughts, or even to give them weight in your own mind is a sure step towards madness.
Work on you. Find your balance. Become strong and confident again. You're older and wiser. You've learned valuable lessons. And you have a great opportunity right now for a bit of a mid-life correction.
Make the most of it.
Strength and honor.
Blessings,
Bill
"Don't tell me the sky is the limit when there are footprints on the moon."
