Doing 180, but Husband still researched D

[Phenix70]

Hi Sandi, I tried to update my signature, but it wouldn't allow me to post anything.
I'm 40, H is 34.
We've been together 4 + years, married 2+ years.
He's in the Army, was prior service in the Navy.
We met in CA when he was just about to get out of the Navy & go into the Army.
Neither of us was looking for anything serious, so it was a surprise to both of us when we fell in love.
That was in 2006, he was deployed to Iraq March 2007-June 2008, we got married July 2008, I moved to GA August 2008.

Regarding H & my Going Out 180, it was really weird, the only other indication that he cared was he would ask me where I was going when I got ready to leave & I would say "out."
Last night I told him where I was going when he asked.
I was gone about two hours, after I got home he was cold as ice to me.
I looked at the computer, saw that about 45 mins before I got home he was looking at divorce sites.
As far as I know, that was the first time he has actually looked into what getting a divorce entails.
That's why my heart just sank when I saw he had looked.

Weird thing, was when he mentioned it was sexy the first time I went out, he also said "I had no idea what you were doing, you could have met another man, you could have gone to the movies, I had no idea what you were doing."
Mind you he told me this out of the blue last Friday after he had been drinking, that was the only time he has brought up me going out.
And now that he knows what I'm doing, he gets all pissy with me.
I just don't get it!
(He also told me later when he was sober not to listen to him when he drinks, since he's not in a right frame of mind.)

Funny thing, the only thing I blame my husband about regarding our marriage is his absolute lack of verbal communication.
I take full responsibility for "letting myself go."
I own that, I know I should have taken better of myself, not been so lazy, been more active.
Just to be clear, he never once said anything about my weight, nothing about my lack of a social network, the only thing he talked about that bothered him was my financial situation.
If he never said he had problems with me, how could I have read his mind, KWIM?