My wife of 9 years wants to go to a mediator to work out a divorce. I have a D11, D8, S4. I have known W for 13 years. After birth of our son, W started a series of affairs, 4 that I know about. Over this time, she has spent more and more time at the bars, billiards halls and bowling alleys. I started to get the love you, not in love with you about year to year and a half ago. She has followed script with asking for divorce/separation 6 months ago. I think she hit a low a few months when she was fired from her job and went to family planning for a pregnancy that wasn't mine. She is 33, I am 35 and she has just met her savior, a 51 year old man who in the past was a victim of a WAW after a 12 year relationship. Now she wants out fast. She considers us separated. We live in the same house but sleep in different rooms. I work away from home M-Th. She now stays at home with the kids. One weekend she has the kids and I am allowed to do whatever I want. Next weekend she leaves to go live with the OM. I made all the mistakes everyone else in this situation ie pursuing, reasoning etc. Now I have read DB and DR and am trying to apply GAL, detachment and working on friendship. This has been very difficult for me as she is not only my wife but also my BF. Early in the marriage I was not there fully emotionally. I never strayed and have worked on my problems ever since with IC. MC was a disaster. By the third session the counselor basically gave up. She said that I was doing everything right and my W needed IC. My wife blew her off.
