Positively moving forward

[Lucky11too]

Well, I know it’s not the same as having someone to talk to face to face (and a shoulder to cry on), but at least you always have us here at the board to support you. We understand what it’s like to go thru this experience and the “it’s all for the best” kinds of comments just don’t always cut it. Even though you knew and were expecting the divorce settlement to come thru, ACTUALLY having it in your hands and having to deal with all these final items to end your M is another. It’s the final death of the M and that’s a hard loss to experience. Just take the time you need to grieve that loss. In addition, I know you tried to be “friends” with H, but I’ve think you found that he doesn’t even deserve that. Just continue to be civil with him for the sake of S and move on beyond him and the D.

I don’t even know what to say about your car…this is just soooo ridiculous! Just keep track of everything (when you called, who you talked to, their responses, any notices, etc), just in case. What about trying to get thru direct to corporate? This is getting VERY dangerous for you and S, so just continue to be vocal and express your concerns to them (and you could always throw in the law suite threat too b/c this is really ridiculous that they continue to leave you in harms way).

I hope you are feeling a little better today. Just try to take care of yourself (you’ve got to eat!!!) amidst all this stress!

[awest1217]

I really feel like I am in a crisis of faith. I am very religious and completely believe in God. My problem is that I have gone through so much in my life; my dad dying, watching my mom be abused by my dad and then my step-dad, my grandpa committing suicide, then this. I just think what have I done wrong to make my life so bad. What am I not doing right to make me continually go through these trials? When H first left, I was at church almost everyday praying and asking what to do. I listened to what I feel was God's will, but now I am the one who is getting the raw end of everything again. I just don't get why? Why can't I just have a good going life for a while? I mean I have the D. I am not getting any money, which I will admit I wanted because it was the only way I saw H as being punished for cheating on me. My car is well... I just feel at ends with everything.

I don't know if it is because of the time of year and the dooming anniversary, or because I am overwhelmed, or what, but I just am not happy.

[soleil]

Aw, cheer up, Awest.
It seems when it rains it pours.
Try to focus on the positives in your life.
It's normal to feel these ups and downs at times.
Do something good for yourself today.

[mishka422]

I can totally sypathize with you awest. It seemed like every time something good happened 4 bad things would occur. I spent a lot of time in prayer and therapy trying to figure out how to move through the trauma. It's not punishment, it's not that you are doing anything wrong, it's just life. Life piles on and piles on. It's a test of character and strength. Trust me, you are one strong woman with LOTS of character!!!

Try not to let it all overwhelm you. When it starts to get to be too much, sit down with a hot cup of tea and a pad of paper. Make a list of each thing you need to deal with or accomplish and then split the list into more manageable parts. One to two things per day. You can't deal with it all at once so don't even try!!!

[Lucky11too]

Trust me, I completely understand. All morning, I have been asking God, why do I have to deal with this? (see my newest post =/) It’s hard b/c emotionally this is what I am feeling, but mentally, I know it’s not helping me either. You have been thru a lot, more than most people, but I’m a religious person too, and I do believe that God has a plan for our lives and a reason for the trials we face. I don’t know what the reason yet and being in the middle of it feels awful and unbearable sometimes. I hope one day we will be able to look back and it will all make sense. My sister told me an inspirational story when I was going thru one of these “woe is me” moments not too long ago about (summary version) a woman who got breast cancer and had to go thru all the pain and suffering of chemo and finally surgery and kept asking “why me, God?” I forget the exact circumstances but later in her life, she had the opportunity to go on a missions trip overseas and saw all the suffering. She understood their suffering and had a heart for them and made it her lifetime mission to help those people. She came to realize that if God had not allowed her to go thru her own suffering, she never would have been able to truly understand their suffering. Not that we are meant to be missionaries per se, but the bottomline is that God has a plan for our lives. I know this is hard time right now with the finalization of the D, another wedding anniversary and the holidays, but like I said before, take the time to grieve the loss, and also take care of you. And at least for me, whenever I’m feeling super down, giving S a hug reminds me that even though I’ve been thru so much, how lucky I am to have the best thing of all!

[awest1217]

Thanks all! I know in my head everything that you have said, but it is just so hard for my heart.

I would love to just let some things go, but it is not possible. I do feel better since Ih ave everything at work caught up (for the most part).

Christmas shopping is almost done so that is great.

My credit card bill I freaked out about for this month, but then I calculated how much my sibs are giving me for my parents gifts and I realized that I really don't have that high of a bill considering I am one present and stocking stuffers away from being done.

The car will hopefully get fixed next week and everything with the L is done on my part. I have to look over the property agreement revision and then it is off to H. I will just be happy when I have two weeks off because I will need them. I want to spend that time just doing nothing.

I know this month will be gone before I know it. I mean it is already Thursday and then only two more weeks until I am off for Christmas break. It is crazy.

[awest1217]

YEAH!

My garage is getting fixed after not being able to open it in two years. The spring broke before H left and it wasn't long that H left so I didn't have the money to fix it. My parents know a guy who does this for a living and worked out a deal and this is my Christmas present.

Also the dealer finally called me and the part is available for my car. It is getting fixed next week!

I am so thankful because I needed this little bone to help me realize it will all be ok.



Now to vacuum and wash the floors...Tomorrow I have a church meeting most of the day, returning things and finishing some Christmas shopping, then my department Christmas party at night. H is keeping S a couple of extra hours. It was either that or my sister watches S, which I am ok with, but H wanted him longer so that is good. The next saturday H has S, he has him less due to S having Christmas program practice so it all works out.

[newmama]

Yay, Awest! You finally got a break! (with the garage door and the car parts)Seriously, we need to take those small things and appreciate them.

I am sorry for all of the pain in your life. I have certainly seen a lot as well, although different than your circumstances. The sad thing is that I KNOW I am going to have to take on some very challenging hardships with some stuff in my family that is imminent.

But I was asking God why, and then feeling guilty because I know people have it even worse, and the answer came to me as "Why NOT?" isn't that strange? Like God was saying "why do you think you are so special that you don't have to deal with hard, sad, difficult circumstances? Everyone has some kind of battle."

And you know something, Awest? Whether that was my subconscious or it was God speaking to me, it is true! None of us deserve to suffer yet none of us should be exempt if suffering has to happen...but it's normal to feel sorry for ourselves once in awhile because how many Ghandi's and Mother Theresa's are there in the world? We are not martyrs!

Ok sorry if that wasn't cheery. It's just a good reality slap when we start to dwindle into depression over the hard life we are juggling.

[awest1217]

NM, I totally agree. Normally when I feel down, I just remember how thankful I am for everything I have because many, many people have it harder than me, but for some reason it didn't help this time. I really am so blessed and sometimes a slap is needed to remember it.

[Lucky11too]

Great news to hear about your garage door and car parts! =) We all need some good news once awhile to keep us going. It's also a good reminder that step by step, you will get thru this!