I appreciate the response. I know where I stand on this and have made it very clear to my wife. So the issue really is finding out where she stands. I know I can't change it, but I think I do need to know.
I disagree to an extent about the power. The sad fact is that is any state in only takes 1 party to file - to end a marriage. Regardless of what the other person wants.
I'm still waiting on how do address the OM issue. It is there, but it isn't really as bad as some of the stories on here. It hasn't been physical, no declarations of I love yous, no late night 2-hr phone calls. I think she needs to sort this out about what it means that she went down that road. Once that happens I can respond accordingly. I know it sounds like I'm giving up power, but I don't want to take power over something just to prove a point and ruin my marriage. I agree at some point, if this continues, she's getting the speech that I cannot and will not share her with someone else.
I plan to listen, but I think she's too smart for the validation stuff. Heck she has her Ph.D in psychology. heck I could see her saying "I know you are hearing what I'm saying, but you aren't doing anything about it."
Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet. --Jean Jacques Rousseau.
