Need Help on a Decision Fast

[AntoniaB]

I think IB and I did the same thing--I didn't contest the D, nor did I sign D papers, because he still gets his divorce by default. The court assumes I comply by my NOT signing anything.

We had already done a separation agreement, which I initiated, and he signed that, so our asset distribution is already laid out in a plan that is now filed with the court. He has to get a lawyer to carry out the terms of the SA but none of it can change without both of our consent.

To me, you do what you have to to protect yourself financially. You can't give in on that in hopes of hoping the person comes back because you've "played nice" or given things up. But if you aren't in favor fo the divorce and wanting to stand for the marriage, find out exaclty how much you can just NOT do anything--not respond if possible, and see if the divorce occurs by default. Then you've stood for your beliefs but you haven't stood in your spouse's way. It's a fine line but I think it helps you maintain your integrity provided you can legally walk that line.