Still needing some encouragement

[kissak]

So, my H pretty much left me alone yesterday. He did send a few texts when he got off work. One was a pic of him on his job that he wanted me to show our kids, the others were about him telling me he had added me onto an account so that I would be able to talk to the satelitte people. And he wanted our D to leave a jacket of his in his vehicle. Then asked if I was still going to do an invoice that I do every month for him for a job he does. I just said yes. He did call twice and spoke to our kids. I didnt speak to him at all. Around 9:30 last night he texted me to say goodnite, I just didnt answer it. I was tired. Didnt feel like texting or talking to him at all.

Today, I havent heard from him at all. I guess a part of me is sad that he hasnt tried to talk. But I dont know if this is good for me or not. It hurts to know he has someone else he would rather talk to now. That Im not even worth the fight. NOT THAT IT MATTERS. I dont know what I am wanting. Im just tired of getting hurt. It seems it will never end. I cant be friends with him, expecting to hear from him all the time, then when he doesnt call or talk, I feel forgotten.

Does anyone understand me?

I did enjoy a nice walk last night with this guy that lives down my road. He is interested in dating me and he offered to help me find our childrens tent that flew away in the wind last night....so we were out looking in the fields with a flashlight...anyway, we didnt find it. We ended up walking for about an hour and talked about different things. Couldnt talk about much because my son was riding his bike with us....Im not really attracted to the guy physically, but he is nice and sweet. Dont know how I feel about it. Just getting to know him and making a new friend right now. I hate to say it, but it was a good distraction last night.

This also happens to be the guy that dated my H's first OW for a while last year. He is still trying to get over her. Its just weird.