Well,when I was a kid and got hurt playing, my mother was the type who did NOT just kiss the wound and put a band-aid on it. She would put iodine or alcohol (something that burned the heck out of it). She would NOT be mean to me, but if I got hurt playing where I had no business playing.....she would not baby me. Through my tears, I would hear her message....."Sandi, you knew better than that. I told you not to play there. Now you see what can happen". She didn't yell or act mad, but I knew the difference in getting accidently hurt within the realm that I was allowed..... from when I got hurt playing where I had been [b]warned not to go. I quickly learned the difference in Mother's reaction from the difference consequences.[/b]
So, my advise would be to not kiss her wound and put the band-aid over it. I think she needs to feel the burn. You don't have to lecture, yell, etc.,but but I would be very cafeful and not get all melty-man. Your M is on the line. She's been rejected & hurt and she's turning to you for comfort.
My POV is that she needs to know that you will not jump up & down with joy by being her left-overs. You show a calmness that radiates strength. As of right now, you have not made a decision........and I think that is what you should tell her if she begins acting as if nothing ever happened. You may have to say that you are still thinking about it and have not come to a final decision.
When she shows you physical affection......like a hug, I'm not saying that you have to push her away, but don't get all warm & fuzzy over it,either. This is the second time around and she needs to know that you won't be manipulated as easy as she may have thought after she got dumped.
Hold the line, continue to monitor(as DB says) and see how things go till Christmas.
Well,hope this doesn't get banned.
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
