Things are going pretty well right now- for me anyway. But... I have to admit I have not been taking care of myself as well as I should/need to be... I am writing it here to be accountable.
I have not run in 1 week and only ran 1 time last week. Plan to run tomorrow no question.
Eating habits have faltered some too... need to get to the grocery store and resume healthy eating.
I will give myself a little of a break. The seminar will be done on Friday and everything is centered around getting that put together right now. A patient was in surgery last night so I was stuck and didn't get home til 5 am...
Friday will be here soon and it is my last seminar. I can't wait to have that over!!!!
No squirrel sitings today.
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
Must be something in the air... I just ran for the first time in about a week. Pumpkin cheesecake every day... Get some sleep...that always helps too
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
Im with you although I really do lots of riding, its my only exercise and I need to do even more.. the weight is still piling on from when H came home, about a stone and a half which I'd dearly like to get off again!
Hope you are well?
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I am well, thanks for asking. How much exactly is "a stone and a half"??? I am still weighing less than ever before but have stopped losing at this point. Still a little underweight I would say. Have gained back a half a kg.
Very tired, about to go home and take a nap after last night's emergency.
Thanks for stopping by. It is good to hear from you! Read your second sitch, do you have a current one?
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
Ahh, but the best part. Even though I would say I am a little underweight... between dressing better and being in better shape, lots and lots of compliments at work. Have to think one or two makes its way back to H.
Even better?... would keep doing it even if he doesn't care or notice. I feel great and I do my best to walk the halls with a smile on my face at all times... fake it till you make it really works The double-takes by my colleagues and the staff... priceless...
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
Don't change that attitude! you will enjoy this one, W says to me today, in all seriousness and kind of pissed, "I create stress in our M and you lose weight and I gain weight!"
M39 W41 Two children WAW bomb dropped 11/7/09 Piecing Aug 10 - Nov 10 No longer piecing...Nov 10 Separation Jan 11 EA ends again Feb 11 Piecing attempt #2, Mar 11
So, as usual... feeling really good is followed by getting a little punch in the gut.
As I was leaving the hospital tonight, I ran into a student that H and I know somewhat. Her and her boyfriend had been out to the house a couple of times in the past. She asked me if I was going to FL too. After I recovered a little, realizing H must be going there, I felt lonely and crappy. I knew he was going to do a locum in Jan, I don't remember hearing about one this month or if that is what he is going for... I told her that I wasn't and she said that was too bad, her and her boyfriend were leaving this weekend to go there. I didn't ask any further questions. Just acted as if...
Besides this past year, traveling or going away was the time we usually really connected.
I feel sad mostly because I keep getting this image in my head of him feeling only complete happiness. Being so relieved that he is away from me. I try to remember the words of Sandi2 in her sitch when she says that the WAS hurts too. Logically it seems true, it just doesn't feel like it is true right now.
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
Interestingly, I just checked my bank account and guess who decided to deposit money this month? According to him, he was going to deposit 500 last month (down from the 1000 he originally planned) less because of the L he needed to hire... clearly blaming me for this as the internet was good enough for him.
Then, nothing. No money. Suspect he was trying to get me to react/punish me for getting a L without telling him (see prior posts!).
Today, 500. Guilt? For sure. Still trying to see if I am hanging around? Maybe. Whether I will take the opportunity to contact him and thank him? Not a chance. I know, I know, stop the mind reading. Seriously though, is anyone ever successful at that!!! Despite my feeling that the real answer is 'no' since I am pretty sure everyone on here is human... I will continue to try to refrain.
Supporting me/his family is VERY important to him. His father supports his entire family including H's aunts, uncles. This is H's role model and what he strives for (not a spoken goal but clearly important to him). Part of me wants to not take the money. I feel like he is trying to control me to a degree, trying to make me dependent on him. It is his pattern. He has told me he knows I don't care about the money but it is important to him. I hate that he gets to still try to be the 'good guy' by giving me money. I think no reaction is the only way and forget whatever his motives may be... thanking him would seem like pursuing to me, even though I hate to look thankless (I looked that way in the R in his eyes I am certain). Ugh. Whatever, IDK.
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
Why is guilt such a 'giving' emotion for these guys? I would say to keep quiet on the money. If HE mentions it, then a polite thank you would be appropriate. If he wants contact, he can do some work to get it.
And yes, on the mind reading. I still do it, despite my best efforts.
I am still weighing less than ever before but have stopped losing at this point. Still a little underweight I would say. Have gained back a half a kg.