So, as usual... feeling really good is followed by getting a little punch in the gut.
As I was leaving the hospital tonight, I ran into a student that H and I know somewhat. Her and her boyfriend had been out to the house a couple of times in the past. She asked me if I was going to FL too. After I recovered a little, realizing H must be going there, I felt lonely and crappy. I knew he was going to do a locum in Jan, I don't remember hearing about one this month or if that is what he is going for... I told her that I wasn't and she said that was too bad, her and her boyfriend were leaving this weekend to go there. I didn't ask any further questions. Just acted as if...
Besides this past year, traveling or going away was the time we usually really connected.
I feel sad mostly because I keep getting this image in my head of him feeling only complete happiness. Being so relieved that he is away from me. I try to remember the words of Sandi2 in her sitch when she says that the WAS hurts too. Logically it seems true, it just doesn't feel like it is true right now.
(Formerly blgp) Me-35 H-33 Married 4 yrs Together 9 yrs "Bomb" 8/1/10 Separated 8/6/10 D filed 10/21/10, on hold til 1/11
"If you want to hear God laugh, tell Him about your life plans."
