Ugh - since the East Coast guy flamed out, ex-boyfriend happens to be offline for a couple of days, and inappropriately young guy also seems to have wandered off - I am finding out how dependent I have become on these little internet emails and chats through the day. Going through withdrawal. You all will have to fill in.
Just as I was writing this, though, my old college boyfriend called! He almost never calls, but he had very good timing today - just the pick me up I needed. (No, he's very very married and I really don't find him attractive - we do have that ease of old friends though. He's good at calling me on my bullshit.)
I just enjoy the company of guys. I get to hang out with my band buddies once a week, that helps, but it's not enough. I know I need to start dating again - I think this thing with the East Coast guy taught me something though. I keep thinking I will get over the ex-boyfriend when I get a new one; because of that I think I push myself a little even when things obviously aren't right, thinking I just need to get over that hump. Probably though I am unconsciously sabotaging or picking bad choices BECAUSE I'm still hung up on the old boyfriend.
Hey - at least it's the ex-boyfriend I'm hung up on, and not my ex-husband!
