I always thought I was pretty simple. The most important thing to me is my family. I am lucky enough to have a whole bunch of sisters who are my best friends. I have cousins who are friends, aunts and uncles who are close. Not to mention nieces and nephews. Happiness to me is a house full of people eating and laughing. We've never had fights or drama. I also love to read and am usually reading more than one book at a time. I love to travel. I've been to Europe many times and lived in Japan. I love to be around people. I love the beach too.
In the past 4 years I have withdrawn into myself. Still spent time with the family, depression fades into the background around them. As soon as I get home, it is back. B/c my husband lives away during the week, I am alone a lot. I get very loney. I never lived alone and I don't like it. Also, we bought a condo here in southern CA and became house poor. So much for traveling. I tried to explain to my husband that I'd rather have experiences than things and that I'd rather not buy the place, but he won that argument.
I also am taking graduate classes. That makes me happy too.
In the past 4 years, even though I could still make this list, I felt paralyzed to do anything about it.
Just do it. Like Sandy said...when he sees that same girl....meaning the same spark and liveliness....he will fall in love wiht you all over again.
You may need to do a lot of visualization or self-talk--whatever works for you. Whatever it takes...MAKE IT HAPPEN!
Hope you will stick around here for a while. The board is much more than busting divorces. It a good support group. My M was R and I'm still around yaking.....lol.
You sound like a very strong person. I hope this works out for you but in case it doesn't....I'd bet there is a man out there that would really appreciate you.
Just don't get down on yourself, okay? I think LBW's tend to do that b/c of our makeup. Our self-esteem goes right out the door. You have faced some tough stuff and you kept going, I believe you'll keep going through this also.
((hugs))
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I tried GAL and 180s. I surpressed all the fear and anger and hurt and put on a happy face. The other night I lost it on the phone with my H and said the meanest nastiest things I could think of. He wont' talk to me and wants to D.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
I forgot to mention: It's not the end of the world. I have lost it a couple of times already. The frustration and anger are really hard to contain. But you can do this. Seperate that phone convo with a little cooling off time. Then "act as "if" everything's back to normal. You may even apologise if you feel that will help your goals.
Me 53 XW 50 M 18 Years +2 S14 D19 Bomb 10-24-10 Served 1-27-11 Mediate 4-21-11 Civil D Final 6-2-11 No church anullment "A man is not finished when he is defeated, he is finished when he quits."
