When life hands you lemons add alcohol and stir!

[mishka422]

It was a great thanksgiving! I really thought it would be a hard day, but I managed to get through it without crying more than a couple of small tears. That was pretty great!

We did our traditional Thanksgiving feast (enough food to feed us all for the next 4 days morning, noon, and night) and then sat around passing the Black Friday ads around deciding our game plan. I had a serious surprise when going through my mom's recent papers. She had set aside $1000 for Christmas this year. She never spends much money for Christmas but I think she had an idea how this year was likely to turn out. She left a note for me along with the statement that said to take the money and make it a memorable Christmas...DO NOT PAY BILLS WITH IT! So....I did just that and at Black Friday prices.

I won't give you the blow by blow but I was able to get my hands on one of the LCD TV deals at Target, a Blue Ray player to go with it, a new digital camera (I managed to lose mine during all the craziness at the hospital), movies, video games, HDMI cables, clothes for Marc, and tickets to the Packers vs. Falcons NFL game this Sunday (that was part of Marc's 16th birthday present which was on Black Friday). Mom would be very pleased!

Being up for 30 hours straight cooking and shopping wore me out though and now I have a nasty cold. Lots of good meds are being taken so it's fine. LOL

Hope everyone's Thanksgiving day was fun.

[BobbiJo]

Oh Mish, what a wonderful thing your mom did for you and your family! I am so glad you were able to go out shopping and enjoy yourself. Hope that cold gets better! Hugs...

[mishka422]

My Packers lost but Marc was cheering for the Falcons (blood traitor!) so he was happy.

Gabe is being extremely kind and sweet which is SO unlike him. I keep watching him to try to figure out what he is up to. It's like he's getting ready to make a big move. Oh well, it's been nice having him here. Whatever he is up to, I will be ok. I know it. Life is in perspective a little better. Take today for what it is, live as if there is no tomorrow, and never expect anything to go the way you planned it!

Back to work tomorrow...boo hiss!

[BobbiJo]

I know! I do NOT want to go back to work either! And I love my job, too...

Just enjoy his niceness and don't wait for any shoe to drop. I am glad he is there, for you and Mark, especially that he stepped up while you were supporting your mom...

[MichelleLT]

I am pretty sure I posted you hugs on FB. I think. With my jet lag, I may have hallucinated it. So, to be safe ((((((Michelle))))))

Glad you had a good Thanksgiving.

And your mom's foresight was amazing. SO SO SO glad you got to splurge. What a wonderful gift she left you!

So happy to hear Gabe is being supportive. And so glad to hear you are talking about things like the miscommunication about your phone.

As your mom's death probably only overemphasizes, everything in this life is temporary. Gabe could leave tomorrow, or he could be hit by a bus. So just enjoy the moments. It's less stressful that way. You deserve every minute of love and happiness.

[Reincarnated]

Mish - have you gone to that website http://www.gettingpastyourpast.com/

One of the things she talks about is doing daily affirmations and gratitude lists. I know that it is something we've talked about before - ie., your self esteem and general outlook. Hon, so many people here care for you. Do you know that is because you are a lovable, warm, good person? Cause we wouldn't if you were anything but. Maybe it is time to get back to that rewiring that you were working on...

[mishka422]

Donna,

Thank you for the reminders. I have checked out that website and it is really excellent with lots of great lists to use. I've been using them sporadically but probably should do it daily just to reinforce things.

Rewiring? Heck, I thought I was doing pretty good all things considered. Could you point out what I said that sounds like I'm in the dumps? I must be missing it (which is typical for me! I can be pretty dense sometimes! LOL)

My microwave decided to give up on Thanksgiving day right in the middle of cooking frozen corn. Thankfully I wasn't doing anything too important. I just took it to my cousin's and finished it up but we can't live in my house without one! UGH! Going to have to go buy a new one. Thankfully I found one at Wally World for only $69 that is nearly identical to the one I have. Large enough and with enough power to do what I need it to do. I found a super cheap one at Best Buy for $29 but it's too small and definitely not enough power!

Off to do errands today and fill out a TON of paperwork for insurance stuff. UGH!

[Reincarnated]

Hey, Mish...no, it isn't reading that you are down in the dumps, but your pessimistic outlook regarding Gabe is still firmly entrenched. I know that you feel hope is dangerous right now - I so get that. Even if he has given you some signs to feel it. Maybe even because of those signs...

To counteract that, you can look again to your self-esteem issues that you have brought up in the past. I get the feeling that you just haven't been paying much attention to you lately (with great reason). Hope you take time to get back to knowing and loving the wonderful "you" that you are. Then, what Gabe does or doesn't do won't be eating at you.

Much love chica...

[mishka422]

Oh my! Well, I'm done for then! LOL I think whatever he is or isn't doing will eternally eat at me. It's so hardwired into my nature to consider the actions of those around me to determine my own feelings. I've never found a good way to combat that. I was brought up to believe that if those around you are not happy with you then you need to change yourself. I now understand that is not always the case, sometimes if they aren't happy with you but you are happy with yourself then it is their problem and they either adjust or walk away. It's the walking away that I can't handle so I adjust myself to accommodate them, eternally making myself unhappy. What I know in my head is right and what I end up doing are just not in sync. It's like cutting off my own hand to go against my nature. Why should it hurt me so much to just do what I need to do for me? That makes no sense and yet I know I must. It will obviously be a lifelong battle with myself and I fear it's one I will not be able to actually win. However, victory in a few skirmishes would be a nice start.

I had asked Gabe a few days ago if he thought he would have time before he leaves for CA to get the Christmas decorations down from the attic and he said yes. I fought my nature of asking again and just left it in his hands. I never said another word about it. He leaves tomorrow morning early. Miracle of miracles......before he went to work tonight he got Marc and went out to the garage to get them all down! Yippee!!! There are boxes piled all over the living room but I'll be able to do something with them this weekend.

Still filling out paperwork. This stuff is miserable! I don't know how you do it Michelle....all the legalese is giving me an enormous headache! It all sounds like garbledy gook!!!!! LOL

[desert_rat]

(((((Mishka)))))
I think that really recognizing the issues you have is a big step. You've danced around them for a long time, but you are getting much more succinct in you statement of them lately. Which I think might mean you will be able to start addressing things. Obviously not all at once, just a skirmish at a time!

Gabe getting the decorations down was one of those little victories, you know!