When life hands you lemons add alcohol and stir!

[mishka422]

Oh my! Well, I'm done for then! LOL I think whatever he is or isn't doing will eternally eat at me. It's so hardwired into my nature to consider the actions of those around me to determine my own feelings. I've never found a good way to combat that. I was brought up to believe that if those around you are not happy with you then you need to change yourself. I now understand that is not always the case, sometimes if they aren't happy with you but you are happy with yourself then it is their problem and they either adjust or walk away. It's the walking away that I can't handle so I adjust myself to accommodate them, eternally making myself unhappy. What I know in my head is right and what I end up doing are just not in sync. It's like cutting off my own hand to go against my nature. Why should it hurt me so much to just do what I need to do for me? That makes no sense and yet I know I must. It will obviously be a lifelong battle with myself and I fear it's one I will not be able to actually win. However, victory in a few skirmishes would be a nice start.

I had asked Gabe a few days ago if he thought he would have time before he leaves for CA to get the Christmas decorations down from the attic and he said yes. I fought my nature of asking again and just left it in his hands. I never said another word about it. He leaves tomorrow morning early. Miracle of miracles......before he went to work tonight he got Marc and went out to the garage to get them all down! Yippee!!! There are boxes piled all over the living room but I'll be able to do something with them this weekend.

Still filling out paperwork. This stuff is miserable! I don't know how you do it Michelle....all the legalese is giving me an enormous headache! It all sounds like garbledy gook!!!!! LOL