Is it a MLC? A Personality Disorder? Or is my H just Mean & NUTS?
I have posted on this thread and on the infidelity thread before and I can't believe I am back on here. I assumed my H and I were working on our marriage although he kept saying he wanted to take it slow. When I questioned him about this sometimes he would say, "I want to take it slow to see how it goes then I will decide." DECIDE WHAT? To leave me AGAIN after you found someone else? He would always say the same thing, "You are letting your imagination run wild, how many times have I told you want I mean?" Truthfully, he never wanted to clarify what he meant and I didn’t pursue it because he would ask if we could “table it” for another time so we wouldn’t argue. That day never came.
Since Oct. 30th things were going good. We even celebrated our 30th anniversary together in early November. He wanted to go someplace that had good memories for us. Once again he gave me a lovely card with a handwritten note saying how the past year was turbulent but the future will be better. He professed his love for me. Note ** He did this last year as well then within a month he was cheating on me. **
Well guess what, I found him on Plenty of Fish, a dating on line site. I was playing around on that site only because my friends, male & female, have commented on it in a laughing way. I was curious to see what these people were like. So first I pretended to be a man searching for a woman and then a woman searching for a man. OMG!!! Was I shocked when I found my husband on there looking for a long term relationship? His 2 photos were from this past summer. After much discussion with friends I decided to make an account to respond to him, thus letting him realize that I found out he is on here.
Do you know what his response was, “this is awkward, and I never thought we would be exchanging emails on this site?”
That was it. He has not called me or emailed to apologize or offer any explanations.
He never came for Thanksgiving. Obviously I didn’t want him there, same for Christmas.
He did say to our 23 year old son when he chatted with him on Thanksgiving, “take care of your mom, I know she is upset with me.”
THAT’S IT ??? We separated March 2010. July 1st he said he wanted to reconcile. Since then I was working on me and our marriage. I had a goal. I assumed by what he said that he did too. I will admit, sometimes my gut was not feeling easy. I couldn’t put my finger on it. At times I felt that he wasn’t 100% sure he wanted to be back yet when confronted he claimed he did.
When I think back, his behavior towards me and our marriage has not been great. Back in May, he admitted he had an emotional affair with a co worker 19 years ago. I know he had one again, these past 3 years with a much younger co worker besides having his affair with another co worker. As my sister said, “he was a great father & friend but a good husband?”
Sure he provided for us and I do have good memories intertwined with bad ones.
I never felt like I meant a lot to him. That would take forever for me to explain.
That is why I question, is he in a mid life crisis, does he have a personality disorder or is he just MAN & NUTS?
