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kissak Offline OP
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Thanks for the prayers everyone. I know that worrying does nothing but cause more stress. I have always known that. I just had alot of things hit me all at once in one day. Friday night after going out with a friend, I came home and had the best cry I had had in quite a while. Woke up feeling alot better on Saturday.

I did have some guy that Im not really that interested in ask me to go out with him when I was ready to date...I was kinda shocked, but had a good laugh about it...he just wanted me to know he was interested and he knew I was in no way ready to date yet....Ugh, Im far from ready to date, far far far from ready...lol


still way too many emotions im dealing with over my H. I still love the dummy and always will. Just wish he would get his act together....

anyway...its a new week...got lots of little things to focus on...you are all right, its too much to handle when looking at the big picture....I know God will take care of me anyway and things always work out in the end just the way they are supposed to.

All weekend my H has been way too attentive to me. Its hard to not let him do things to be nice. I guess I can tolerate the niceness...but I know what he wants....he told me, he wants some loving...lol, told him I wanted that a LONG TIME AGO! I wish he would see that he has a problem. I would love to know why he can be this loving and attentive to me now, but not when were together...I feel like he will never leave me alone...and I know...I am in control of MY life, not him....I keep repeating that to myself. Plus its helping that my sister is kinda in the same sitch with her H. Only difference is her H is emotional abusive and violent...It good for me to help her, because it helps me...I gotta start taking my own advice smile


Kissak

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3
M-37 H-37
S-10, D-15
M- 1993
First bomb- 12/23/06
Came and went too MANY times!
Gone again 10-25-10
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,605
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Hi kissak,

Quote:
I am in control of MY life, not him

keep repeating that often...until you start believing it...and living it.

(((hugs)))


M53 H54 D17
M33Y T38Y
Bomb OW 09/09
OUT 10/09 BACK 11/09 OUT 01/10
WANTS TO R 04/10 BACK with OW 05/10
Wants to Reconcile 05/11 I said NO
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kissak Offline OP
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Thanks Mila smile


Kissak

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3
M-37 H-37
S-10, D-15
M- 1993
First bomb- 12/23/06
Came and went too MANY times!
Gone again 10-25-10
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 2,588
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Kissak,

Just checking in. How are you?

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kissak Offline OP
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Hi SA,

Im doing ok. Really missing my H. Wish I could tell him. Im sure he misses me too. But I keep reminding myself that he and I cant be together right now. Its sad, expecially through the holidays.

I had the kids this weekend, went shopping with my friend and her daughters. Funny thing happened. We were an hour away from home and in wallie world smile well, I ran into my H. Even he was shocked. He had told me he was going window shopping, never thought we would end up in the same store an hour away....he even texted me afterwards how weird that was. I hated it though, Id rather NOT know where he is or what he is doing when he isnt with me.

Im trying to stay busy. Which is hard right now. Business is SLOWer than ever for this time of year. DId manage to put my tree up last night, well I put it together but IM going to decorate it this week. I usually dont do it till after thanksgiving but the kids will be with their dad this weekend so Im doing early.

Ill be ok, just wish I didnt have business/financially difficulties on top of Marriage issues to deal with.


Kissak

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3
M-37 H-37
S-10, D-15
M- 1993
First bomb- 12/23/06
Came and went too MANY times!
Gone again 10-25-10
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 3,132
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Kissak,

Just stoping by to wish you a happy Turkey Day.

Quote:
Ill be ok, just wish I didnt have business/financially difficulties on top of Marriage issues to deal with.

The difficulties that you are facing should show you something. Do you know what that is?

God Bless,
Eric


"The difficulties of Life are intended to make us BETTER,not bitter".
"Fear is a prison, where you are the jailer. FREE YOURSELF!"
"Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B." - Jack3Beans
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kissak Offline OP
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Thinking that maybe I need to be focusing on those issues at my business instead of worrying over my marriage at this point.

AND Happy Turkey Day to you too Eric smile gobble gobble


Kissak

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3
M-37 H-37
S-10, D-15
M- 1993
First bomb- 12/23/06
Came and went too MANY times!
Gone again 10-25-10
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 3,525
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kissak Offline OP
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Why Why Why do I even let my H get to me the tiniest bit!! Ugh, Im so mad at him. Ill with him. I cant stand him. Why? well because I let him get to me over the weekend. Why I dont know. He was wanting what he always wants...sex. Ok, I almost gave in...He knows what to say and do to get to me and I hate it. Then last night I needed him to help me. Help me with my satellite. His name is on the account and i cant even talk to the people to help me fix it. He has to call. So I texted him asking him to call. He never did. FOr the first time in weeks I didnt hear from him ALL night. So this morning I was ill when he called so I didnt talk to him. I figured it best to not talk to him when I am mad. ANd Ok, why am I mad when it is ME that thru him out! What do I expect from him?? He spent the night with another women. Who I dont know, dont care, but what is really ticking me off is that he couldnt answer me. ALL THOSE times he was at home and texted everybody all the time when he was with me and he couldnt text me back when with someone else???? UGH!
SOrry, Im hurt, jealous, mad, angry. Why? He is just a user. He only wants one thing from women. I pretty much told him by text when he was trying to talk to me this morning that I didnt want to talk to him today. I may say something I regret.

OK< just had to vent. This was my decision to make him leave and I have to deal with all the pain and hurt that comes with it.

No 2x4s please. Im just having a moment!!


Kissak

"What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee." Psalms 56:3
M-37 H-37
S-10, D-15
M- 1993
First bomb- 12/23/06
Came and went too MANY times!
Gone again 10-25-10
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 749
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No 2x4's, sweet lady. Just *hugs*

Next up is to do what you have to do to get his name off the satellite account.

Feel what you feel for now. Be angry. Let it fuel you for now. You won't always feel this way. I promise you that you will heal.

*hugs*
~ swl


Look not mournfully into the past. It comes not back again. Wisely improve the present. It is thine. Go forth to meet the shadowy future, without fear. {Henry Wadsworth Longfellow}
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Aren't you glad now you didn't give in?

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