It'a All About Me

[Sanderika]

OK then....

Pre-Surgery:

H obviously knew the date of the upcoming surgery.

H obviously sent you an email the night before with good wishes.

Post Surgery:

H obviously quizzed D numerous times as to your well being and recovery.

H is obviously withdrawn and reluctant to invite himself to ask you directly of your recovery.

So....

Is your H denying that he knew of the date, nature of the surgery, that D had updated him on your status. Hogwash!!

I am going to assume that H does not want you to think he cares and thus his avoidance of you allows him to think he isn't getting close. I think H has feelings he is denying. He can deny and avoid all he wants they are not going to go away.

Something happened this Spring between you and H and he has crept back into the tunnel because it scared him. He is afraid to get hurt or rejected and thus it's easier to deny he has rekindled any feelings for you.

So...Knowing this, you create the atmosphere that drew him out earlier.

Your best plan would be to maintain. You should be the kind, sweet, loving Cas that you are. You should continue to treat H well.

Now that you have confronted H back way off. You planted a seed and he will think on that. Leave him alone to let him think. Don't make contact with him. Give it time and he will make contact with you. When or if he comes for D again in the near future, don't hide instead be open and happy and warm and the "I've Got It All Together Cas" you are. This is the reason he was drawn back in to begin with.

Get that house decorated in grand style as you have in the past and begin to celebrate this Christmas season. For instance, play some holiday music if you know he is coming, heck be singing along when he arrives. Start your baking earlier than usual and send along some of your special treats that H just loves. If you don't want all that food in the house you could always take some to work on Fridays for instance. GAG is probably right about food. It is a huge connection between you and H. Build on that again.....

Don't invite H to your holiday celebration. In stead create the atmosphere where H wishes he could be a participant. You know as well as I do that when they want to do something they will find their own way even if it's simply wriggling in unassumed or noticed and I know you know exactly what I mean here.

I wish you and I had an alternate way of communicating some days.
My H was rather interesting on Sunday. He spent the whole day with me and son again and he appears to once again be peaking his head out of the dark. It was all soooo very interesting.

Sanderika's thought for today....Our H's are not done!!

Hugs to you,