My heart is in her hands

[Truegritter]

It is positive because it keeps your self respect intact.

Boundaries are tools to protect you. IMO placing faith in them for this

It is positive for your wife because it demonstrates to her that you are worth respecting and treating as a person of value. It helps to push her out of the self absorbed mindset that is present during infidelity, and towards being able to consider you and the impact on you as well.

Can sometimes be misplaced faith.

Because she will or she won't.

In the end your self respect is resident in you.

And IS defined by YOUR actions and choices.

When we come here we don't see that right away. It is a process to get there.

So I agree with Rocked in the sense that you must use these tools for yourself.

When you say this

I'm not here looking for spiteful, mean spirited, tactics to hurt my wife. If I can't be part of a positive solution to our problems, I would prefer to part company as friends and be done with it.

It speaks to who you are. Your values and your integrity. You can never go wrong when you do that because it is not dependent on the action or reaction of another person.

All the boundaries in the world will not restore that in yourself.

So choose your boundaries wisely and for YOU. And make sure you are prepared to make consequences for them and that they align with YOUR goals.