I'm back :( Not sure if I belong in MLC though

[punkin]

Jennifer,

I can only give you the benefit of my experience. Here goes. 8 yrs. ago, my H had an affair, acted much as your husband does now, was depressed. Caught him many times pacing in the kitchen in the dark of night repeating over and over again "It's not My fault"., Many of your comments of your husband ring true to what I went through then. Long story short. I let him come back before the crisis was dealt with. Basically, it got sidelined by the Iraqi War, when he was deployed.

Fast forward 6 years. Now, H is battling PTSD, alcohol, and the MLC that was never resolved in the first place. Top that off with facing mandatory retirement from the Military. He went completely and totally bonzo.

Moral: I think you are right to not let husband come home too early as a sort of 'band-aide' on the situation. MLC has to be dealt with. It refuses to be buried and covered up for long. I have no idea what works for you and your H; therapy, religious counseling, romantic trips, etc., but the problems still have to be dealt with.

For you: You can forgive, but you won't forget.

For him: Those that don't learn from their mistakes are destined to repeat them.

Good luck, and have a good day Jen.