I have listened and she just don't talk about it. I used to push it a lot. I even told if we just talked about it I would feel better. I don't think she listens to me. I don't even know if she cares. I told her that this is the sorce of my problem.
When we had our second child she said remeber after we had our first one I lost my drive for two years. The funny thing is she never told me that. She just shuts off and leaves me hanging. She said this time it is different. She had a tubal and I think it is from that but I don't know. she won't go to the doctor for it. I am just left guessing. I love my wife and feel connected to her. She has says we are connected. I have been very angry lately and keep it bottled up. I would love to talk to her about it but when I was doing that she asked to stop talking about it.
I am very frustrated and don't know what to believe. She is responsible for herself and can't make her do anything. I sit and thing about changing myself but hell i DON'T THING THAT WILL MATTER. I am up again because I can't sleep and she is up there sleeping like a baby. I know she knows I am unhappy but she does nothing and it makes me wonder if it is all worth. I feel trapped because I love my kids and could not leave them and at the same time I cannot go on like thisl. I am miserable. I think everything could be ok if we could just get to a point where we could work on this together. I am so resentful right now that it is hard for me now to even talk about it without getting mad. So I try hard to keep going.
Where do I go from here? how do I get myself in a place where I cannot be happy ? I feel bad when I am mad and get angry when I am not mad, if that makes any sence. I just wish I could start all over again. I would do thing a lot different. As I get older I now know myself better and know what i want more than I did when I was younger. I am starting to ramble so I will stop.
