Beginning of the End, or of the Beginning

[Mike.4545]

My last post from my original thread:

Thanks for the input GK and CG.

For a little clarification, my intent for this letter is not to ask for my W to make an ultimate decision about our marriage, to get her to see the light, or to get her to come running back. It will be fairly short and concise and basically say I love you, I want nothing more than to save our relationship, but I cannot, and will not remain in the picture if you're unable to end things with the OM, and continue to prove so through complete transparency.

I'm not filing or asking her to file. I'm just saying that she cannot have me as a part of her life if she isn't ready to stop harming me in these ways emotionally.

I know she won't scoff at the letter, and I'm not doing it for any kind of appreciation. I see it going 1 of 2 ways.

1. If she agrees to end contact with OM, then she'll have to prove this through transparency of all her communications/financial accounts (and a few other ideas I have)...beyond a shadow of a doubt. That's all I'm asking for now as I believe working on our marriage is beyond her at this point in time. She'll have to use all her energy just to mourn the loss of that relationship and she'll have to get through that before she'll be in a place to look back at our marriage.

2. If she does not agree, then I will not accept anymore communication from her in any form, until (if ever) she is ready to agree to end her relationship with OM permanently and adhere to my requests in the letter. If she does not agree, then she will likely resume her relationship with OM and she may file for D, but whatever...I'm would just start living my life as though she is not, and never again will be a part of it.